There are no more "babies."  It stopped in Late Boom.  Babies are treated like adults by Generation X.

Some people in Germany are racial brats and think they got something over me because people have been acting like I'm in big trouble too much for no good reason, like that's it, stupid right?  I already realize the adults in Germany chose their children over me, like it's a big deal and I'm so bad.  It doesn't mean I agree they are good or right in their opinion about race.

Update

I listed my blogs at christinabarrett.com.

I usually didn't feel encouraged about the idea of me being in an orchestra...?

I did things like singing to have fun, but it seems people in the orchestra have more fun.

New Blog

Blog #5 - Trivialities

"Down the Rabbit Hole"

People drained me saying Tim Burton's success says I'm nothing.

So, though, it is true that, though music is not the only thing I like, I like it and chose it...

People abandoned their childish ways.

Something wrong with Early/Middle Boomers?

Why are my fingernails like my dad's as a man, in some ways?

Generation X seem unfocused and oblivious to anything other than themselves.

I'm focusing on getting in a full body workout every day for, this time, 10 minutes.  I couldn't even keep up.  I use my cell.  I took a walk for maybe 1/2 hour or so listening to music.  I used to jog slowly 1/2 hour a day and try to also fit in a 5 minute core workout, which was sorta nice but sometimes guess the jogging tired me out, partially because of how it was usually hot out, maybe.  I tried working out in the morning in my pajamas.  I do stretch.

I'm pretty good at Wheel of Fortune but not Jeopardy at all almost it seems, so foreign.

I am famous for ... if you cannot help yourself, how can you help others?

Take that, Orlando / Central Florida!

Update

new posts on Blog #2

People seem too stubborn and lethargic to give a shit on time about me, when they're put in charge over me, in secret.

I did a body workout for 10 minutes and got my heart rate to around 125.

I wonder if I'll get longer legs if I take a break from jogging but might walk and listen to music.

New Discovery in Health

I feel healthy to eat fresh, like fruit.

I also started cooking my own beef and fish.

I already got contacted back for a phone interview for the job.

$100 for Christmas

might get more, but it's for 10 sets of pants with it bigger around the calves instead of tight all over

I think I have over 10 black spaghetti straps and over 10 colored spaghetti straps.

I can wear a sweater over it.  I might get a short sleeved sweater, too.

I unpacked from the trip last night, but cleaning more is helping me feel peaceful.  My room is kind of nice.

People not raising their kids right means they might not get along with other people they like.

I applied to be a teacher at a daycare, part time.

I just don't feel good not working with my family how it is, especially necessary.

Troubles of a Job

I don't like not working, and I am supposed to work part time.

Most jobs aren't really listed online.

I want a job at a place like a clothing store that's interesting rather than with food or serving people constantly.  When I was 15, I worked at a school uniform store for the summer.  I've also had jobs playing the electric keyboard, in high school.

I wonder if I can get a car, but it looks like not right now, seeing how my family is doing.  I've been taking the bus.  It drains me because I have to walk to the bus stop, like 15 minutes, which isn't bad, but I kind of take a lot of buses.

Do people go to Golden Corral sometimes regularly because they cook such a variety of supper?

I opened my Baroque violin and it's great.

Music

Check this out.  The musicians look so serious and "good."  I used to live here year 1993-195, age 7 & 8.

Can everyone please file out so I can make my next move?  You're holding things up, here.  I mean in your desires.

Me Singing Now

My violin was delivered.  I just have to go home and see it.

So, some people with a white mom see them like a favorite teacher or a "real" "mom?"

Something I Remembered

If I say that too much attempts at a good time could cancel out itself, I'm told I'm selfish and told to fuck off.

If my mom is so good, why am I considered chopped liver?

My friends seemed violently mad about how I had such a good mom.  I think they destroyed my life.

I feel like I'm in the way, but I don't know what to do.

So, it must be nice for my friends with hot moms (mine is hot but not white.)  It must be like going home to your favorite teacher.

This is a nice picture!

Her mom is a popular classical violinist, Petra Müllejans.

She looks different in here.

If you looked but don't remember, here is a link of other pictures of her: link.

What do you think of this?

Some people inherit setbacks from their parents.  I didn't, as far as who I am as a person.  I mean, like some people have problematic fetishes or deficiencies.  A lot of people seem rebellious and not as straightforward.

My generation was the kind that socially negotiated with their mom on auto-pilot and probably got tickled by their dad.

I have setbacks, but it's not because my parents did it, aha ha!  No way!

The USA knows how to respect people, but they are not always prepared to socialize and be affectionate themselves.

My Baroque violin is in Orlando, but I'm not!

I moved some posts to My Controversial Life Blog.

My dad must be mad he can hurt me because it means he's not stupid, aha ha ha!

People make mass judgments about people.

What was that!  "Oh, she's German, she's better!"

People who follow mean people I know are mean themselves and I don't approve.

What is wrong with some Europeans looking at Asians like that's me with a problem when I am the opposite!  They're so shallow to me and full of themselves.

I feel like I'm being fought after all I've ministered.

So, you turn someone on by looking better than them?  You get popular for quantity and not quality?

How does my life make sense!  I am not allowed to think I am anything!

Were some people forced to be like their dads?  My mom said I don't look like her but even as an infant looked like my dad other than racially said.  I kinda looked like him on purpose some time after popping out of the womb.

Why are people saying I'm bad to be popular in the world and not someone else?

Ya'll have fun sexually fantasizing about your own moms.

Germany along with it.

Some people encourage me to "come out of my shell," people at school did.

My nuclear and extended family silently rebelled when I did.

I'm worried about at least 3 moms of grown children dying at any moment.

So, only some people can get what they want?

Okay

I know 3 people born around 1990/1991 who want to spend all their time attached to their mom, at least in a way.

but he's too fat to turn me on...

I'm quite drawn to my dad.

So, you just ignore your dad?

Does mom = the stuff for you? like you're forever her baby? Not me! I'm outta here!

Is anyone very attracted to their own mom, like a favorite teacher?  I've seen teachers and students have sex relations or sexual relations these days.

People in Germany think they have it all.  They are partial to their own young people, even if you are nicer.  I'm from the US, and the largest percentage of the population is German.

My Baroque violin is in Chicago and shipped from China, will get here before the New Year after all.

"It's not fair."

What if Europeans are precious and not Asians?

Did you know Eurasians are known for living in Europe and not the US?  It's not totally true, and I don't know exactly.

Where are mixed people supposed to live?

Remember, I'm an adult.  I don't "have" parents.  Like an animal that's not dependent.

I'm not that connected to my mom.

Update

I changed the song I posted in a post on Blog #3 to start at a certain point instead of the beginning.

I don't know when I should go over there.  I feel like being alone.  Something's off.  I do need breakfast there.

I assume people used to originally learn violin as an adult.

I am at my grandma's house.  My aunt and uncle are away, for a few days.  My dad's here, too.

I get a whole house to myself.  I woke up, exercised, showered, practiced violin, and will get breakfast with my grandma and dad, as there is, like, not much here to eat.

Last night, we watched game shows and I got some of it.  My grandma asked me to play violin already, and I was like, no, not now, though I did practice.  It's getting better now that I can hold the bow straight...  I'm pretty good with the notes.  I need better technique at some things for this level, Suzuki 2 and 3.  Suzuki has 5 books but really 10.  Like, my pinky is not long and strong.  It's not weak.  It's not coordinated.  My staccato's in one song sound tacky, but it took a long time to get this far.  I'm undoing some things my teacher/s taught, as now I teach myself.

I don't really know when they'll be awake.  I was over til almost midnight and my dad texted me around 2 AM.  I woke up around 7:30 AM.  I feel a little not so awake but not tired so much.  I'm apprehensive of the stress because I was looking forward to this.  We're all going grocery shopping.  My grandma is as old as Mickey Mouse, turned 90 around the same time.  I guess she was born in the ... "Great Depression."  It seems Pennsylvania wasn't that involved in the US, though.

Everyone is shy, in some way.

I'm not really shy, though.

I think being considered shy is why they gave me medication.  People gave me attention for being "sweet/smart/shy."  The medication I take because my parents/mom said I had to if I live at home with them.  They upset me easily how they act since coming home from college, and I am diagnosed again as a paranoid schizophrenic.

I'm not a real artist, but I am switching from drawing to colored pencils.

I might get this book for $35 on how to make colored pencil portraits.  It will tell me what colored pencils to get, not sure what the budget for that is.  I've so been itching to do this! draw or color people.  So, maybe if I get Christmas money or in January.  I'm putting learning German as my first priority.

If some Italians or Italian-Americans want me to accept them, how can I when they are so irritating to me being part Asian, when they see me?  They think I'm not that good and am mean because of having Asian, like I did something to them, when I didn't.  Most people think if you are nice to other races that it's rude to even think you are worth talking to them.  However, they replaced that with racism.

When my life is ruined by others, others think it's time for things to surface that shouldn't and to make it worse for me.

Studying German, I Hope

I guess I have to study German for 2 years to become proficient.  There's a special school that teaches languages.  I'm not sure if the money will be tight and about when I will know but hopefully by Christmas when I get my money.  It's 2 nights a week for 2 hours and 15 minutes.  The material is a book and 2 CDs.  I don't know if you can get ahead also doing online/independent study.  It's split up into 6 levels, about 4 months each.  They said it's about 4-6 people.  They said you learn quickly and speak in full sentences and ask questions, by the 1st day.

I just found there is an intensive program, hope I can afford it.  It's 4 days a week for 3 hours each, during the day.

I just have to find out if the classes are stable if they don't have enough people and if they do for the intensive program.

I'm guessing with the intensive program I can learn in 1 year.

The colleges here have either 2 levels of German lasting 1 year or 1 of them has a minor.

I already started studying on my cell and with books.  I don't know all the basics, but I know some.  Like, I'm lacking in grammar, but English grammar is a strength of mine, according to test scores and some amount and types of evidence.

I took good Spanish for 1 year and actually won the award for it, the highest 100%.  I kept up, and it was easy.  I didn't learn a lot, though.

(continued)

So, I can say whatever I want about my race? and yours?

Why did people think I would be okay with them calling me "you look ... exotic."  What's that, not white?  I clearly am not Asian-looking.  Maybe, they forgot to calculate they called me not white.  I think they did a lot of calculating, though.

It's funny some people don't like music.  Why are they bothered when musicians like music and let them be?  Is something funny? that they pry into others actively about whether or not people like music?

Oh, and a lot of people like classical music, musical theater, etc. etc.  What is the excuse for jamming to heavy metal and rap and looking cool still? if music is so awkward?  Is it any less awkward than classical?

Me Singing Now

I think Generation X is still dreaming about their popularity when they goofed off in high school.

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971) just came on TV.

It was so nostalgic it reminded me of when I was still about 20 years old.  It's been over 10 years.

I remember when hope was there for a successful life, socially and otherwise.

I guess if my life is to change, eating more and better will help, to replenish my body more.