Everyone is shy, in some way.

I'm not really shy, though.

I think being considered shy is why they gave me medication.  People gave me attention for being "sweet/smart/shy."  The medication I take because my parents/mom said I had to if I live at home with them.  They upset me easily how they act since coming home from college, and I am diagnosed again as a paranoid schizophrenic.

I'm not a real artist, but I am switching from drawing to colored pencils.

I might get this book for $35 on how to make colored pencil portraits.  It will tell me what colored pencils to get, not sure what the budget for that is.  I've so been itching to do this! draw or color people.  So, maybe if I get Christmas money or in January.  I'm putting learning German as my first priority.

If some Italians or Italian-Americans want me to accept them, how can I when they are so irritating to me being part Asian, when they see me?  They think I'm not that good and am mean because of having Asian, like I did something to them, when I didn't.  Most people think if you are nice to other races that it's rude to even think you are worth talking to them.  However, they replaced that with racism.

When my life is ruined by others, others think it's time for things to surface that shouldn't and to make it worse for me.

Studying German, I Hope

I guess I have to study German for 2 years to become proficient.  There's a special school that teaches languages.  I'm not sure if the money will be tight and about when I will know but hopefully by Christmas when I get my money.  It's 2 nights a week for 2 hours and 15 minutes.  The material is a book and 2 CDs.  I don't know if you can get ahead also doing online/independent study.  It's split up into 6 levels, about 4 months each.  They said it's about 4-6 people.  They said you learn quickly and speak in full sentences and ask questions, by the 1st day.

I just found there is an intensive program, hope I can afford it.  It's 4 days a week for 3 hours each, during the day.

I just have to find out if the classes are stable if they don't have enough people and if they do for the intensive program.

I'm guessing with the intensive program I can learn in 1 year.

The colleges here have either 2 levels of German lasting 1 year or 1 of them has a minor.

I already started studying on my cell and with books.  I don't know all the basics, but I know some.  Like, I'm lacking in grammar, but English grammar is a strength of mine, according to test scores and some amount and types of evidence.

I took good Spanish for 1 year and actually won the award for it, the highest 100%.  I kept up, and it was easy.  I didn't learn a lot, though.